I have been binge watching television over the past few days, waiting on news from doctors and insurance companies. I have been somewhat caught up with the many worries on my mind. I struggle with allowing myself to relax, as if worrying to the point of severe anxiety will make my stressors go away.

Newsflash for Darlene: IT WON’T!!!!

I finally got things worked out, but the anxiety and stress-induced tense muscles are still there. So, what next? I know I should give it to God, but I am not so good at that. I’m kind of a control freak.

So, I am still trying to figure things out that will enable me to be healthy and happy. I am focused on developing a life that will help me continue to help others. I am not sure what my future entails, but I hope that it includes hope and a sense of passion for life.

Right now, I am struggling. I am okay, but struggling. I’m exhausted, but keeping going. I know my posts have been missing this week; I have been unable to write and think clearly. I have had good days, but many days have been spent just trying to exist with some modicum of peace in my mind.

I have tried writing poetry and tried to be future-focused, as I wrote about last week, but it is difficult. Sometimes, life is hard and we have to keep trying to make our peace with the frustrations we face. Life is hard, let us not abandon hope and suffer even more.

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