Safety

Years ago, I met a guy on an internet forum and we grew close. We lived a few states away from each other, but we would spend hours talking on the phone in college (after 9 pm, because that was free minute time). We parted ways amicably and were friends on facebook for a time. I deactivated and then started again after a hack.

I recently got into the Fitbit craze. I met a guy on the community forum and we messaged back and forth. He wanted my number. He seemed legit, so I gave it to him. He called me and it was obvious that he was not from Jersey, or the USA, nor was he the age he claimed to be. I told him things were moving too fast, trying to keep him at bay and end things without too much fuss. He continued to message me and found me on other places, using my number. I blocked him, but he used other numbers to contact me.

I changed my number and he found me on Whatsapp; my profile updated the new number. So, I deleted whatsapp, facebook, messenger, pandora, my parking app… I changed my email address. I changed my number a second time.

I think the issue has been resolved and that he can’t find me again, but it left me feeling very afraid. I know that I was being too trusting and too hopeful. I just really wanted the opportunity to try a relationship. This debacle has made me feel violated, alone, scared, and hopeless. I commented to a friend that I might as well go out, get drunk, and hook up for all of the damage that I had to fix. I was joking, but I was being honest, too.

Today’s society has us meeting people online. I have tried the online dating thing with mixed results. Guys lie, offer dick pics, and make you feel like garbage if you don’t give in to their demands. I had one guy ask me if my vagina worked, since I was saving myself for marriage. As if a broken vagina (what?!?!?) is the only reason not to have sex.

I am saddened by today’s state of affairs. I am appalled by how quickly lives can be disrupted with one phone number.

“I just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number and call me maybe”

— Carly Rae Jepson

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